From September 10 (my birthday) until October 6 (today), I have walked in darkness and struggle. I am not certain what happened. I do know the result–namely, “rejoicing with inexpressible joy and full of glory!” So, this writing will do little in expressing all that happened in my life. It seems my life in the last month resembles the Psalms. The Psalms actually contain more laments than psalms (praises). Praise seems to follow lament. I have lamented, but today I am praising Him.
The psalm that encouraged me the most begins Book 2 in Psalms. The main verse for me was, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? HOPE IN GOD; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation” (Ps. 42:5). This verse sums up the last month of my life. That hope has produced an abundance of worship today!
I have been learning, in spite of the darkness, that worship is a response to God’s revelation. The worship today is due to the revelation of God. He has lead me, through various means, to know His will for my life in this next phase of my life. I had many obstacles placed in front of me over the past month. I have been greatly confused. Anyone who was around me in the last month would probably say amen to that. In the midst of collecting all the information needed to have an “Ah, ha!” moment, my confusion was apparent. Today, the Word of God has encouraged me and lead me to know where we are going.
Now, the title may seem vague concerning what I have written thus far. Before leaving Tennessee this summer, I realized a sin that I needed to address. I was not aware of it until this summer when I was back in Tennessee. So, I went to the person that it concerned, but he had gone out of town. That meant that I could not make it right with him until a later date. Moreover, I was returning to Texas before this person returned from his trip. This was discouraging since I had rather speak to someone face to face about these things.
However, I was constantly reminded of this unfinished business. So, yesterday I wrote a lengthy letter and sent it to him. Was my month of darkness caused by this unrepentant sin? Yes, certainly some of it. Why do I say that? Because, repentance has resulted in forgiveness. Forgiveness has resulted in praise. And praise has resulted in joy! Joy in God is a precious blessing from Him. There is hope in repentance, because Christ has made atonement for our sins. Praise the LORD.