A Letter to My Brother in Christ

I am aware that you need more context to understand fully what I write here. However, that will not be provided. I hope it is of value as it stands.

Journal Entry:

September 12, 2013

I don’t think a church plant will happen…at least not right now. The letter I sent to various people did not reveal much interest. Therefore, I will push on doors elsewhere. If you hear of any opportunities please pass them along. Thanks for all your help and prayers. All that you poured into me is still bearing fruit brother…it was not in vain.

I am thankful for the time I have had after seminary. Seminary was good for me in many ways but I needed to adjust to life outside the academy. I was not ready to deliver truth with mercy and patience. I had a packaged deal (that had many flaws) that would not fly very quickly. I would have lorded it over them. I would have pushed my agendas. But now, I am ready to walk with them (whoever they are) for however long it takes. I will have compassion instead of compulsion. Discipleship rather than dictatorship.

Also, I think my marriage is better as a result of waiting. I think I am a better father having waited. I have learned a ton! Many adjustments along the way. The Lord has been so merciful to me.

Seminary students don’t know what they need because they think they know. They don’t know…most of them. I hope you will encourage them to hang around the church for awhile before going into ministry. They need to be around you. Brother, you have such a gift from the Lord. I thankful for the time with you.

At the end of the day, God has not called me to be a pastor but to trust in His Son. The process of following everyday in everything is far more important than ministry. I could be so consumed with seeking a ministry position that I become faithless to the ministry of my family and those I am in contact with everyday.

I could tell you a story about Stanley who was our delivery guy where I work. I spoke with him about Jesus each week even though he claimed to be a believer. A few months ago, the Lord got his attention and he and his son went to church, heard the gospel, and believed. Now his wife is believing. They are making backpacks for the homeless. I could go on and on about things like that. God is using me right where I am…a husband, father, and hardware salesman.

I am in a discipleship relationship with two guys. We meet at McDonald’s every Saturday morning. I see fruit in their lives! Yet I long for more.

I feel like I am doing nothing for Christ. I ponder giving it all up because I can only do so little. Then God sent this to me: “Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do so little” (Edmund Burke).

May the Lord do with me as He pleases. May I be content with the small ministry that I have. I will give an account for them too! Pray for me…I so need it.